There's a reason I didn't post a blog after the Browns-Eagles game. That reason carried over to why I didn't post after the Bengals-Browns game, and it partially explains why I'm posting this one (technically two) day(s) later while everyone else is asleep. I didn't come to terms with it until just a couple hours ago, but here we go:
The Browns have the players to compete and win, but not the staff.
There, I said it. This isn't a new thought by any stretch of the imagination, though. I began thinking this around Week 5 or 6 while watching the Browns try to rush the passer. It was then that I thought 'Hey, is it me or do the guys in the Brown jerseys just try to move in a straight line toward the quarterback for every pass?' This continued to carry over into Week 7 and 8, when I thought the same thing, but amended it to 'Do the guys in the Brown jerseys just try to move in a straight line toward the quarterback for every pass even when they're blitzing?' I'm convinced to a certain degree that this season was to Mel Tucker what that Freshman Experience class is to first-year college students; over-simplified crap you have to wade through until the next semester when you can finally do something worth while with your time.
Don't think this didn't carry over to the offense. Oh no, if anything it was even worse there. Week 6 or so was the start of the 'Does Chud honestly call for Lewis to fall "forward" for one yard on every first down play' question, and after the Titans game it gave way to 'Cribbs' arm is stronger than anyone else that can take snaps, so why not let him throw 7 or 8 a game?' No thanks, said the Browns coaching staff, and now Ken Dorsey has a rib injury. Bruce, you start earning that two-year contract this Sunday!
And behind the scenes of all this Shaun Smith tries to play the role of Hamlet, but ends up looking more like a violent extra on Dawson's Creek. For those not up to date, Smith punched Brady Quinn in the face, giving him a black eye and causing several teenage (and some middle-aged) girls to erect altars to hasten the recovery of his photo-friendly mug. Why exactly did Smith punch Brady in the face? Heads up everyone, it's quiz time!
Q: Why did Shaun Smith punch Brady Quinn?
A. Brady made fun of his spot in the ESPN article about big people in the NFL.
B. Shaun Rogers and Corey Williams took his job and he's got some misplaced anger issues.
C. Quinn looks like a Bengal in the dark.
D. Brady took Derek Anderson's job.
E. Trash-talking gone wrong.
ANSWER: I don't know!
I don't particularly care, either. A and E could be lumped together, I'd assume the weight room this happened in had lights in it to nullify C, B is just stupid because the linemen rotate anyway, and as for D, Anderson got the job back after a couple games and promptly got injured after fumbling away the game. No need to worry, though. I hear Quinn and Smith split some Myoplex energy drinks thirty minutes after finishing their workouts. That and Smith pretty much licked and stamped his 'Trade or Cut Me' letter and is just waiting for the team owners to send it on its way.
